ramblings

2026/04/22

dear diary,

saw a caterpiller on the streets
i didn't want to let it get stepped on by someone and die
so i carried it and dropped it off somewhere i believe is safe
nothing much happened today but i had to say something

2026/04/21

dear diary,

went to friend's house
i like him, nothing's awkward with him

2026/04/20

dear diary,

i went on a picnic with the same friends
delicios food
yummers

2026/04/19

dear diary,

i went shopping with friends
was fun
my entire life saving are gone lol

2026/04/18

dear diary,

i procrastinated and procrastinated and procrastinated and now i have like 10 projects to finish by the end of this month
i don't know if i can

2026/04/17

dear diary,

i stayed home
i'm fine now, but it's not really safe to go outside right after getting better
so i just finished one of my projects in the meantime

2026/04/16

dear diary,

i did nearly nothing today, too tired and still sick

2026/04/15

dear diary,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8zqVO8UqTM

2026/04/14

dear diary,

i didn't get any better
but i listened to a playlist a friend made for me
they said it reminds them of me, and the songs are very beautiful too
the way they percieve me, i find very beautiful
i loved them all, and i love the person that made this for me

2026/04/13

dear diary,

i feel sick today, really sick. it feels weird,
everything feels wobblywibblywobblybubbley
i hope i recover soon, there are a lot of things i want to do

2026/04/12

dear diary,

i think i burned myself out over the past few days
i feel too tired
i procrastinated the entire day just lazing off

2026/04/11

dear diary,

if they knew what i just thought
they'd be hurt too
and i’d know exactly why
and then i’d blame myself for that
and seeing me blame myself would probably make them feel even worse
and then i’d blame myself for that too
and it just keeps stacking
i don’t even need to say anything out loud
it already feels like i’ve started something
just because i thought wrong for a second a chain reaction now exists
every reaction creates another one to take responsibility for
when one tries to fix it, it’ll just make more things to fix
even if i don't think, don't feel, don't react at all, that would hurt eventually

so what am i supposed to do?
screw it~~!!!! i don't know!!~~♪
no thoughts, head empty
brain feels too tired, and for now, that's good

2026/04/10

dear diary,

[insert traits]
[insert more traits]
[insert even more traits]
me?
i don't see that
did they mix me up with someone else? or is this what i look like from far away?

…from far away, everything looks cleaner.

“i’m sorry if this made you uncomfortable”
…ah
i did feel uncomfortable
but it's not their fault
they even apologized in advance
if something in me reacted wrong then it must be me
something’s off in the way i take things in
or i'm just seeing something wretched in myself

what a terrible taste they have

to look at me and decide
this
is what they like?

wait
it's a stranger
of course
that's why
the people who think well of me are always the ones who don’t really know me
it’s so easy to love something when you’re only seeing the outline

but
still
they still took all this time to write all that for me, thinking about me out of all people
this is kind
really kind
i don't know what i'm feeling
chest feels tight, head feels light
i'm touched and also terrified
i don't know if this is fear or anxiety or relief
it just makes me feel like i want to cry

2026/04/09

dear diary,

i got a love letter today
girl?boy? the name's too gender neutral
i don't know what to do...
i'm cooked

2026/04/08

dear diary,

i stayed home all day besides school
i have a really really really important exam tomorrow
spent the entire day studying for it
hehe
i'm kinda scared

2026/04/07

dear diary,

i went to eat with a friend today
the weather was really nice so we ate outside

2026/04/06

dear diary,

the ants struck again
one of the seals were broken?
i don't even know how that happened
ahehehe
i'm in danger

2026/04/05

dear diary,

easter!!~~
i had a great one

2026/04/04

dear diary,

enjoyed some music and focused more on working on my personal stuff as usual
not anything in particular

...that's what i thought until ants emerged from the cracks in my walls ahahahahahafjfdsfsahaha
total catastrophe
i sealed them all with a tape eventually so it's good for now (i hope)

2026/04/03

dear diary,

a friend came over and we played, it was nice while it lasted
i feel really tired, and have a headache
i think the meat i had was spoiled...

2026/04/02

dear diary,

spent all of my energy trying to build the person i imagine today
i want to finally become someone worthy
of daring to ask:
"want to join me?"
whatever that means
i don't really know too
but i believe whatever i'm doing would be for the better

2026/04/01

dear diary,

today was a rather normal(?) day
i just did your average shenanigans with others
oh and also i enlisted myself in the marine corps so goodbye

2026/03/31

dear diary,

i got a haircut today
i like it ٩( ᐛ )و

2026/03/30

dear diary,

another mid average day
and i still didn't manage to think of a fun april fools prank idea;;
frick

2026/03/29

dear diary,

just like any other day
i woke up
went to church
and went home
worked on my projects a little
and played

2026/03/28

dear diary,

i still feel troubled
but today was rather soft
tiring though
went places and places
went out to a park at a 3am to chill by the swings
i'm sleepy now

2026/03/27

dear diary,

love
by its very nature
has to be
repulsive sordid petty relentless cloying filthy nauseating sickening unclean depressing dreadful vulgar awkward uncomfortable loathsome wretched irritating unbearable messy lamentable melancholy enfeebling pathological hateful and bitter
to be beautiful

2026/03/26

dear diary,

mid (ㅍㅅㅍ)
just your usual motions

2026/03/25

dear diary,

mid¯\_(ツ)_/¯
also scared for tomorrow
i hate tuesdays and thursdays the most

2026/03/24

dear diary,

tuesdays are usually one of the worst days of the week for me, but today went well
nothing big in particular
just a lot of small stuff^^

2026/03/23

dear diary,

“i’ll love you and only you”
“i don’t care about anyone else’s feelings but yours”
said a certain someone

and then what?
why does kindness and love always have to be selective? why does love have to narrow until it only points in one direction?

when someon's love for me comes at the cost of how they treat others
it feels less like love and feels more like
something being taken away
i don't know
i was never good at dealing with whatever was happening to me
both harmful and sweet ones

2026/03/22

dear diary,

i'm sick again

2026/03/21

dear diary,

i hate the way things slip out of my mouth.
i don’t even notice it when it happens
it just slips
and before i notice it's already too late

how many of those have there been?

there are things you can't properly apologize for because you don’t remember them clearly enough to point at what exactly you did wrong
so they just accumulate
little fragments of damage
i leave behind without meaning to
and i keep talking like i'm not carrying all of that already

i wish there was a way to filter everything
but that's impossible
so not speaking at all would probably be safer
but even that hurts, even that feels like another kind of damage
so what am i supposed to do.

it’s always the small ones.

2026/03/20

dear diary,

근심을 털어놓고
슬픔을 묻어놓고

잊자잊자 오늘만은 미련을 버리자~

2026/03/19

dear diary,

frustrating day today
i failed,,

2026/03/18

dear diary,

life feels bitter extra today

2026/03/17

dear diary,

my eyes
closing opening
they're really tapdancing on their own
i'm tired

2026/03/16

dear diary,

i just played some badminton with
and yea
that's all

2026/03/15

dear diary,

i didn't do anything in particular today
except i successfully clawed 2 dolls thru the doll claw machine (only 10 attempts)
hhhaaa ahahh ahaha hahha i won

2026/03/14

dear diary,

today was white day,
here, it's a day where boys are the ones giving chocolates to girls, unlike valentines where girls are the ones that give to boys

i turned into someone's wife?????????so that one of my friends(female) could be the one to give
still, it was a fun(weird) day(?)

2026/03/13

dear diary,

"return to school"s suck!!~~
my body feels too tired,
my nose bled three time today, and my body aches won't leave me alone..;.
sad

2026/03/12

dear diary,

nothing interesting happened except the fact my body ached all day (thumbs up)

2026/03/11

dear diary,

same as yesterday, except i worked a bit on a group project today

2026/03/10

dear diary,

felt bored
did nothing except do some binge-listening to some music today

2026/03/09

dear diary,

i cut my hair by mysef today
wow
it didn't go as expecred...;;;;
i think i'll go visit a barbershop soon

2026/03/08

dear diary,

last day of vacation
sad..
and now the weather's turning foggy and grey again
even the skies are weeping because "back to school"s suck that much!!

2026/03/07

dear diary,

i keep thinking about my friends
that day, were they happy? were they worried?
did that day mean as much to them as it seemed to mean to everyone else?
i hope they're proud of themselves

we fought sometimes and said things we shouldn't have said to each other, but i realized how much they mattered
i hope we don't lose each other
i know that, not everyone will stay close already
shared stories
split
into different chapters
it won't be an ending, if even a few of us keep talking remembering that we were once part of the same messy little world

2026/03/06

dear diary,

today was the graduation ceremony
everyone looked happy and relieved, they were shouting each other's names like they were all about to disappear tomorrow

i kinda stood there with everyone else in the crowd, but it felt
strange
it's like when you accidentally walk into the ending of a story you weren’t fully present for

i kept looking, looking, looking at people. I've known some of them for years and the others, i've known them just barely
i even argued with some
and
now
we're all supposed to scatter
it’s strange how a place can feel permanent for so long, and then suddenly it’s over in a few hours
walking home afterwards felt quiet. too quiet.
“just as always,” a day marked its end.
but this one feels like it closed a door behind it

2026/03/05

dear diary,

today we went to the beach
suddenly out of nowhere??..

i keep forgetting that the beach is colder, wind and all
and it's still negative degrrees celcius here, and i felt like i was dying..
but now i'm home
i survived
i live!! in peace and warmth of home

2026/03/04

dear diary,

same for today, idk what new stuff to share < / 3

2026/03/03

dear diary,

i was busy all day today
spent too much time with that friend and now im tired
right now, it's the tommorow of the date i'm making this entry for;;

2026/03/02

dear diary,

a friend is staying over for a few days
it'll be fun, i think, because today was fun

2026/03/01

dear diary,

i had a dream that made me think
in my dreams i kept finding myself so easily pushed over my limit and just being
weird
is the me in the dreams the real me? i sometimes wonder
because that person disgusts me to no end

2026/02/28

dear diary,

today i celebrated the upcoming new year
time flies so fast, i can't believe it's already december 98th 2025...

2026/02/27

dear diary,

i spent all day and night trying to lock in (sigh)
i'm exhausted after hours of just focusing on my goals

2026/02/26

dear diary,

sleepover with my friends!
i've spent the night up tho^^;;

i've been told that parrots are overly sympathic pets that seek actual bonds
when their human feels sad, they feel sad
to the point they lose their feathers
wow
dunno
i found it interesting

2026/02/25

dear diary,

i fucked up!~~~♪

but i feel lighter,
and that's worse actually
all i can do is pray things resolve gently and everyone feels better toward each other

2026/02/24

dear diary,

a friend came over today
we hanged out and it was fun!

2026/02/23

dear diary,

ow;;
i bit my mouth a bit too hard
it's been a long time since i lost got a cold sore
pain

2026/02/22

dear diary,

a foreigner came to the church i go to today!
we both could speak english, so i was able to help her out
and also have some really epic☆conversations

2026/02/21

dear diary,

i spent all day today trying to meet deadlines of my self-assigned projects
i'm tired...

2026/02/20

dear diary,

i felt bored
i did almost nothing today rather than binge listen my favorite music artist's songs

2026/02/19

dear diary,

today went to a hospital
and nothing else that's really notable happened
aw well

2026/02/18

dear diary,

nevermind!.. and yet another day with the big family
had an epic movie night

movies watched:

• kimetsu no yaiba infinity castle
• zootopia 2
• the secret world of arrietty

that's about it!^^

2026/02/17

dear diary,

another day with the big family
also had a birthday celebration!--
i found a bakery that sold a lot of epic stuff so why not? and ended up buying a cake
can't believe it's only one more night and then over but oh well,,..
it was fun!

2026/02/16

dear diary,

lunar new year!!
i'm at my grandparents' house with my cousins
and played a lot^^
we're spending a few nights over there
to those reading this for some reason
happy lunar new year to you as well!!く3!!...even if i don't know if you celebrate it as well or not^^