ramblings

2026/08/06

dear diary,

i went to picnic with my friends by the river today
it was nice, everything's cooler around the water

2026/08/05

dear diary,

today was the birthday of an another special someone
we went to a chinese restaurant, she said she wanted to go there
and then we went to hang out at hongdae
it's been a long time since we last met, so i'm glad too

2026/08/04

dear diary,

today was the birthday of a special someone
so after the celebration, we had him wear the party hat
turns out he forgot to take it off, he went through the whole day in his party hat, even in serious moments. he only realized 2 minutes before the day ended
but went "i've come this far, why go back now?" and kept the hat on until twelve
it was funny ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ and sweet to see too

2026/08/03

dear diary,

friend came over today, apparently i just learned that me and her share so many interests
and a similar music taste too
and it feels surreal

2026/08/02

dear diary,

was overwhelmed with thoughts again today
but as of now i'm writing this, i'm in my "no thoughts head empty" mode again, so i don't feel like going too deep into it
i hope tomorrow plays out fine

2026/08/01

dear diary,

i saw the new spiderman movie today
it was so epic
spoilers alert: the antagonist reminded me of someone that said that another certain person reminded her of me

2026/07/31

dear diary,

i went karaoke with my friends
it's been so long since i last went to one, i was so afraid of letting others hear me sing
but luckily i'm in my "no thoughts head empty" mode, so i just had pure fun without too much worries
got a 100 score too once
really happy today

2026/07/30

dear diary,

i'm having a sleepover at a friend's house
played a lot of cursed games and all
i'm having fun

2026/07/29

dear diary,

it's at 20 minimum now;-;
i'm literally meant to be mosquito food

2026/07/28

dear diary,

i went to a creek again
and
got absolutely destroyed by a mosquito;-;
i counted at least 10 bites minimum and 19 bites maximum
skill issue, i better luck (also is a skill) next time (i'm extremely unlucky though^^;;)

2026/07/27

dear diary,

witnessed a family fight again..
it resolved quickly though, and now
i'm at my grandma's house
it's in seoul, but it has such a countryside vibe to it
in a way, i like itᵔ ᵕ ᵔ

2026/07/26

dear diary,

i met up with old friends
also, the 엽떡 i had for lunch was too spicy.. i don't think my stomach was able to handle this even though it was at medium level spice
i still don't feel so good and still feel like throwing up..
but i don't regret it
i enjoyed my time with them

2026/07/25

dear diary,

there was a painful incident this morning
it hurt so much, but thankfully someone came to help
i'm fine now, just dreading the next time something like this happens
i hope everyone takes care of themselves, with no one neglecting their own body
you never know what might happen

i finally went to the creek today!!ˆᗜˆ
the water was freezing cold, i'm 99% gonna catch a cold..
but it was worth it, and now i'm home safe and sound

2026/07/24

dear diary,

it rained heavily
the entrance to the creek got blocked off because of the water rising and flowing dangerously..
i really wanted to go though, hopefully the rain will calm down so it can open tomorrow
other than that, all is well

2026/07/23

dear diary,

i'm going out in the wilderness for 2 nights 3 days
i forgot to bring my charger, so i'm going to have to save some batteriesく/3

2026/07/22

dear diary,

hehe dangit
i spent all my week earnings in beauty cosmetics and skincare

2026/07/21

dear diary,

yesterday's sleep messed me up really bad today
everything feels so wibbly wobbly
help

2026/07/20

dear diary,

i'm tired already;;; i slept 5 hours at day and now have to stay up the night or sleep only 3 hours to compensate

2026/07/19

dear diary,

i'm gonna go on a trip for a while
i'm excited, and also kinda anxious at the same time

2026/07/18

dear diary,

i'm so happy
i hate myself
i feel loved
i hate myself
i feel overwhelmed,
positive and negative thoughts have stopped fighting each other
now they're simply just existing together
happiness, relief, love, warmth, gratitude, guilt, regret, fear, and whatnot
they're all sitting in the same room
they're all dancing together
i want to cry
i hate myself

2026/07/17

dear diary,

i received another letter today
i'm too scared to read it, because i know i'm going to end up crying like an idiot because of how warm it's going to be. i don't really know how to take in these kinds of stuff
i keep wondering if there's a right way to receive love
my heart's still trying to make room

2026/07/16

dear diary,

i didn't feel like doing today, too tired

2026/07/15

dear diary,

i don't feel safe in my own mind anymore
there's no way out of this, is there

2026/07/14

dear diary,

bored, i did nothing today

2026/07/13

dear diary,

today was nice, i spent time with a lot of people i like, and
it's just one of those chill enjoyable days

2026/07/12

dear diary,

i'm too burnt, it's all burnt to white ashes now but the nerves still feel, and it hurts so much
when they're supposed to be not, because the nerves are supposed to be all burnt away
i'm tired, i want to empty my brain and clear my thoughts for some time, but no distractions ever work, some make it worse

2026/07/11

dear diary,

same feeling as yesterday, wish i could just be a better friend
they'd be better off if they didn't carry this dead weight but i don't want them to leave at the same time i'm too selfish i don't want them to hate me but how do you not hate someone eventually when i keep being like this to them it's way too unrealistic

2026/07/10

dear diary,

i wish i could have been a better friend, half of the time i'm being too overgrateful towards my friends looking out for me and the other half blaming myself for just not being able to do the same same same same

2026/07/09

dear diary,

day 4, last day
and then we go home
i was a little worried when they said it will last 3 nights, 4 days
"it's a little too long...isn't it?"
but i'm glad it lasted long

i thought about a lot of things, i'll talk about them slowly one by one later

2026/07/08

dear diary,

day 3, i really like it here
it has an atmosphere somewhat resembling to my ideal comfort zone
something like that spanish word "querentia", i guess
and sometimes it felt too good to be true, did i do something to earn this? i'm trying to process
you know that feeling when something you thought would stay a distant "one day" just quietly arrives? even if it's only temporary
too warm
so that's maybe why a part of me still expects someone to come up to me and say that this wasn't meant for me

2026/07/07

dear diary,

day 2, everything is going well so far, i'm having fun with friends and
it's so full of schedule;;;;; so tiring, but it's fun
i'm enjoying my time here, seems i was afraid for nothing too much

2026/07/06

dear diary,

i'm going to a school camp, i hope it goes well

2026/07/05

dear diary,

mood swings
constantly going ↓↑↓↑↓↑↓↑↓↑↓↑↓↑↓↑

2026/07/04

dear diary,

my sleep schedule is really getting messed up, i'll fix it (to some degree, fixing it completely is too much work)

i stare at my entries
from time to time and
feel like someone different wrote these for me

2026/07/03

dear diary,

i'm tired, my mind says it's tired but my brain says it can still continue, it still has way more to feel

2026/07/02

dear diary,

i cried again today
unlike other times where bad things keep happening like yesterday, people were just too sweet and kind to me and i still don't know how to hold that kind of warmth

2026/07/01

dear diary,

i keep wondering if there was a right thing to say. every sentence felt like it could either keep someone here or push them a little further away, i don't know if i said the right things, but it worked out in the end. at least for today.

i don't feel relieved as much as i feel shaken
i keep thinking about how fragile people are, and how one conversation can suddenly become one you'll remember forever
i just want the best for everyone, i really do. i don't want anyone to disappear, i don't want anyone to suffer, i don't want anyone hurting each other. i'm trying. i'm trying my best. but it never feels like enough. i don't know what to do anymore.
i just hope everyone wakes up tomorrow, that's all i want

2026/06/30

dear diary,

had an interview;;
and after that i worked on some more stuff to send off the first half of 2026, now i'm tired,
but let's keep living. let's end it on a good note, and let's get through the rest of the year without hurting too much